But the way we use it IS

Edilberto Salazar, 35, married, with one daughter, is a man that I met over two years ago while working for an IT firm in Mexico. This man owed over $200,000 (£10,000+) pesos to the bank, more than $100,000 (£5,000+) pesos in taxes, plus his mortgage and personal credits at department stores. He is one of those guys that saturates one credit card, then applies for another to which he transfers all his overdue credit from his other card, and so on.

He is just one of many people I have met in several years that has the same problem. Endless calls and letters, harassment, and bad looks from friends and family. The truth is that he is just one in millions caught in the same situation.

Credit was created as a way of obtaining something we want *now* and paying for it later, at an interest, of course. Interest rates and other surcharges are the building blocks of banks, lending companies and other financial institutions. In fewer words: Banks charge for the “benefit” of lending you the money you need right now.

But it’s not just money nowadays, is it? Back in the old days it was mostly about a means to purchasing the home you’ve always wanted, or paying for a costly operation, or buying something you really need urgently. Nowadays the amount of things you can do by credit is enormous: Clothes, home appliances, cars, luxury items, handbags, mobile phones, phone contract payments, payments for other debt you may have in other financial institutions, education, even a haircut for goodness sake. Just about anything can be “purchased” on credit, and if the store doesn’t have its own credit line, you can probably still pay with your Amex, Visa, Mastercard, Maestro, etc.

But the concept of “free money” is what has started the massive wave of debt. We saw it recently with the credit crunch, but we’ve seen it previously countless times. And it’s not about individual people any more, it’s about entire countries indebted to others.

Why did this last credit crunch occur? Because of the sub-prime mortgages, the ratings of CDO. MRS, ABS and other deals, the lending, selling and packaging of these deals amongst banks and world-wide financial institutions, etc. They thought the gold mine would never end, and when it looked like it was depleting they found another way of marketing and selling the same deals as new products to investors, creating new indexes in the stock market, and eventually tying everything up in a way that a credit crunch became unavoidable.

But it’s not the banks fault, nor the investors, they are just looking for ways to make more money. The fault lies within the general public, as described by Tetsuya Ishikawa in his book “How I caused the credit crunch”. Credit allows you to have a house before you can pay for it, clothes without any money on you, and more importantly, operations and medical care when you do not own enough money to pay for them.

We all need money for certain things in life, but we also ought to have some decency (or put more straightly: intelligence) and analyse all options into consideration. Credit is a tool, an aid through difficult times, it is not free money, and it often results in a much higher cost than what you could have paid originally for it. Interest is a killer.

So if this opened a wound in you, try to sort out your problems, and lay off credit for life unless REALLY needed.

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My main problem was not using the motherboard spacers. Yeah, I screwed the motherboard right onto the case. This (for those who don’t know much about computers) causes immediate short circuit. Fortunately my motherboard has a short-circuit detector and did not allow me to turn it on.

So I went to a computer repair shop with the PC, asked around for the fault, and immediately a guy pointed out my mistake.

I told him “I knew something was wrong, as I had to press really hard on the PCI/PCIe cards to get them in place, and even so they didn’t fit in well”. To which he replied “When something doesn’t fit in naturally you must be doing something wrong, everything should just fit in.”

So I went back home and put it together in the right way, and it turned on without a problem.

His words, however, stuck with me. They not only worked out for my computer problem, but they apply equally to all aspects of life. If something doesn’t feel right, then you must be doing it wrong.

• If you eat something that doesn’t taste good, you spit it out or stop eating it.
• If you put your hand too close to the fire you naturally take it away.
• If you buy something you didn’t like you don’t (generally) buy it again.

So, then, if we act so naturally about so many of these things, why not apply them to cases such as the following:

• If we are in a job we don’t like, why don’t we leave it?
• If we are in a position we can’t handle, why don’t we say it?
• If we are under a lot of stress, why don’t we deal with it?

It’s ALL about communication and action. It’s not about not being able to handle something, it’s about not communicating it to the right person. It’s not about not being comfortable in a job, it’s about doing something about it. Don’t be afraid to live right.

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Thats how things are when you lose control.

Everything used to be normal, as in every story, but there reached a point in which I snapped. But, how do you realise you are losing control and deteriorating?

Simple signs:

Death

You drive much faster and frenetically, you demand a lot more, you think everybody is being lazy or not doing enough, you expect more from yourself every time but you constantly nag about not having enough time for yourself, you know something is wrong but you can’t find a solution, you try to get everything organised but organisation is driving you mad, you eat faster, and you can’t sleep well.

Worst of all: You start displaying physical problems such as tiredness, aches, stomach problems, headaches, indigestion, acid reflux, and a lot of different symptoms.

It’s that point when you know you have to find a solution. You can’t wreck your life like that.

Today is the first time I actually drive home in a calm state. For months I have been trying (and dying) to achieve this. I tried to be patient. I tried to be smooth. But somehow I always felt time was running out… and I sped. Of course, I nearly lost it at work today. I became so aggitated throughout the day that I had to calm down.

What does all this lead to? Dying sooner than expected.

What is it useful for? Nothing good, believe me.

The point is that you have to accept that by rushing everything you will not get anywhere. You need to sit down and think, what is the point of it all? if not to satisfy yourself, your family and your friends.

So how can you change your bad habit of killing yourself with stress?

I found a useful method: Try acting slow, like if you had some kind of problem that made you process things much slower. Talk slower, move slower, eat slower. If you drive, drive slower. Feel the breeze, look around, and don’t worry about time. Cover the car’s clock with something. Do not think about the destination, but about the valuable time you are spending with yourself. If you don’t have anywhere to rush to, try and think about stopping for a coffee on the way back, or going for a ride around a neighborhood you had never visited.

While this may not work for you, this has worked for me, and I think it could be a good start for anyone. Try different things, something has to work.

We all die some day, there is no need to rush it.

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To become a mature person is to learn various important things in life, and to develop ways to deal with situations in a proper way.

It is avoiding excuses, accepting responsability for your actions, making an effort an remembering important things and keeping track of your duties, being responsible with what you own and what you’ve been lent, remembering to give it back on time. It is being patient and searching for the right solutions without losing your temper when terrible, unfortunate or disastrous situations come along.

Drinking alcohol to deal with ones ‘pains’ or to escape from situations is an example of immaturity. Same as doing drugs for the sake of fitting in or being with a group. And the same also applies to going or doing something to avoid facing a certain situation, when by facing it you can end it’s possible future consequences.

Mastering these issues will favor you in life, allowing you to become a better person, serve society, yourself, your family, and be happier in general.

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I’ts quite frustrating, when I try to have a simple discussion as a matter so simple as movies, but emotions always involve themselves in the oddest of ways, creating mishaps amongst the word flow diverting common sense. It all ends up getting confusing; jumbled-up hype is what seems a proper way to call it.

communication

So then this question arose: What could we do to make communication more efficient, and somewhat distance emotions when discussions or critical topics take place? How can we notice when one of these events is emerging, and how can we control our emotions?

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It’s a complex world we work in, and the following applies to small and large businesses; The vast majority of employees are always looking for a better quality of life, more income, a better position, etc. The vast majority of employers are looking for more profits, better elements, less costs, etc.

You may think that you might be a very good resource, that your capable of doing so much more, but to the administration you are only another element that represents a cost to the business, and while you don’t generate more income the less cost you generate will be better for them.

Theres a point of equillibrium here that businesses must seek: Put you in a position of comfort, where you earn the salary you wish, but continue to work for the business, in a position that represents a moderate expense for them, which will keep both of you happy. Unfortunately, we are never happy with what we have.

So many times we find ourselves in this position in which we want a higher salary, but we’re afraid the administration will bounce us off, we also want a higher position, but maybe the business isn’t in that great a shape to offer it to us, or maybe they have other “better” candidates.

My tip here is: If you really feel you’re wasting your time, leg it, there’s no point in wasting time in a business that will never let you get anywhere better, but be aware of all the risks this has. Sit down and think.

In most cases I’ve found the problem isn’t the business, it’s YOU and ME. We get bored of our position, we end up moving business to business on a horizontal scale, we never get payed much more than our older job, we’re just wasting time switching looking for a perfect spot. The truth is there is no perfect administration.

The point I want to reach is that a change of attitute may help you think twice about moving. I’ve found out that being annoyed at yourself, at the business or at staff members only brings more problems. Even if you don’t like someone very much, or you find your boss annoying, put on a smile, come in everyday feeling good, positive, well rested, thinking about what’s going on now with your mind on the future.

If you have problems completing a task, never get frustrated, if you find you start to circle the same subject, get out, breathe, and attack it from another perspective. If you still can’t complete it, then try studying it, from different angles, and in some moment it will come to you. The more frustrated and distracted you get, the task becomes harder and takes longer, becoming more tedious, and increasing your motivation to leave, walk out, etc.

“Cause quiting alone will never get you dry” – Jimmy Eat World (Night Drive)

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